Moments of Disarray Read online

  Moments of Disarray

  An Alex Kennedy Novella

  Megan Hart

  Copyright © 2018 by Megan Hart

  All rights reserved. By purchasing this digital book, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  ISBN: 978-1-940078-47-2

  Created with Vellum

  For everyone who asked for more Alex, thank you for letting me share more of his story.

  To Lori Meckley for giving this bad boy a beta read. I appreciate it so much!

  To my copyeditor, REB. Thanks for making my words better.

  Keeping me humble…

  Blurb

  Alex Kennedy knows he's a rascal. A rogue. An arrogant bastard. He wreaked havoc on his best friend's marriage by falling in love with his best friend's wife, and now he's trying to move on. Sex, drugs, booze, boys, girls and toys. He's hell-bent on forgetting the past and running toward a future he doesn't believe he deserves, only to discover the truth in moments of disarray.

  This novella takes place after Tempted and Everything Changes but before Naked. It includes an alternate version of the events Alex talks about in Vanilla.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Afterword

  Tempted

  Also by Megan Hart

  About the Author

  Chapter 1

  Sometimes, as the song said, love just ain’t enough.

  If anyone had told Alex Kennedy four months ago that he’d have ended up fucking his best friend’s wife, he might’ve grinned, maybe even made a little bow and a flourish. Like he was proud of himself. If someone had said he would fall in love with Anne Kinney, drown in her, as a matter of fact, he’d have laughed out loud. Laughed so hard he’d cry.

  But he had fucked her, and he did love her, and the weight of all of that had made him small and tired and bruised. He ached with it, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Food tasted sour; he couldn’t eat. The best he could do was try to wash away the taste of her with whiskey or gin or cheap draft beer in bars where people line danced and men in trucker caps and roping boots sometimes let him take them home.

  “I’m not…I mean I never,” said the one sitting on the bed next to him. Drunk, red-faced, but with a body like it had been carved out of fucking brick. His jeans bulged with an erection that belied any hesitation.

  Alex shrugged, already unbuttoning his shirt. “Okay.”

  He stripped out of his clothes, knowing the other guy was watching, and, naked except for his briefs, went to the dresser where he’d already filled two glasses with ice. He poured them each a couple shots of Jameson from the bottle he’d picked up earlier today — Pennsylvania was fucking crazy with its liquor laws, and he’d had to go without for a couple days until he could find a liquor store in downtown Philly. Not like Ohio, where you could get drive-thru beer and wine in the drugstore. The first burn of the whiskey was sweet. The second, a little numbing. Heat spread down his throat into his belly as he turned, glass in hand.

  “Here.”

  He pressed the glass into the other guy’s hand. Kent, that was his name. Or maybe it was Brent. Or Trent. Alex didn’t care. Whatever his name was, he was blond and tall and built like a Norse god, and by the looks of the bulge in his pants, he had a ten-inch cock.

  Alex didn’t sit next to him. He stood, sipping barely chilled liquor, and watched him. The guy — Luke, that was his name. Not Kent or Brent or Trent. Luke took the glass and tipped it to his lips, and he didn’t cut his gaze away from Alex’s. His tongue came out to press the small dent in his lower lip. He might have “never,” but he sure as fuck looked like he knew what he was doing.

  The burn of desire in Alex’s belly had been kindled in the bar but cooled during this random happenstance of a courtship. Fucking men who claimed they were straight could be fun, sexy, a challenge. Tonight it seemed like it was just going to be a lot of work, more than Alex wanted to take on. And that was something new, wasn’t it? That he’d pass up the chance to get off because it was too much effort?

  “You can go,” he said to Luke now. “If you want.”

  “No! I mean. No, that’s not what I want.”

  Alex eyed him. The bulge in the other guy’s briefs had not softened. If anything, the spreading damp spot on the fabric proved what he’d just said. Alex tossed back the rest of his drink and set the glass on the night stand. He curled a hand around the back of Luke’s neck and leaned as though to kiss him.

  “Yes, fuck, yes…please…” Luke groaned, his eyes closed. Mouth open.

  That sound of complete consent, of utter desire, made Alex’s cock twitch. “Yes, what?”

  Luke opened his eyes. “Kiss me?”

  “No,” Alex told him. “How about you suck my cock, instead?”

  The other man blinked rapidly. He slid his tongue along his lower lip. He didn’t move away, but beneath Alex’s hand, all the muscles of Luke’s neck tensed.

  “I don’t know how,” he whispered finally. “I told you. I’ve never done this before.”

  In answer, Alex unzipped his jeans and pushed them down over his hips. His cock thickened, pushing at the front of his briefs. He tugged down the waistband of the soft material, letting his dick spring free.

  “Put your mouth on it,” he said in a low voice, keeping it kind of gentle.

  Luke shuddered and swallowed. The muscles of his throat rippled beneath that golden skin. Jesus, he was built like a fucking bull. Thick and muscled all through his shoulders and back. Thighs like tree trunks. Alex had never gone for guys who looked they could break him half, but Luke had a vulnerability that softened him. It didn’t seem like a show, either, and Alex was usually good about smelling bullshit from a mile away.

  “Just take it in slow,” Alex murmured.

  Luke scooted forward on the bed. He looked up at Alex, heat burning in his gaze, his mouth slightly open, lips wet. He licked them, and the sight of his tongue sent a shudder down Alex’s spine that ended up centered at the base of his cock, which twitched again.

  He put a hand on the back of Luke’s neck, fingers curled. Not pushing. Guiding. Luke kissed the head of Alex’s cock.

  “Like that,” Alex urged.

  Luke moaned. Under Alex’s touch, the other man’s body tensed and released as he moved even closer. He took the head of Alex’s cock, then, surprisingly, the rest of it all the way to the base. Sucked it, releasing it slowly. Alex’s hips bucked forward even though he tried not to, trying not to choke the guy on his first time out.

  Alex breathed out, a soft and low sigh of appreciation. “Fuck. That’s good.”

  Luke moaned again, the sound a hum around the shaft of A
lex’s dick. He slid his mouth off it, then down again. Faster this time. Alex tried to twist his fingers into the bristle brush cut of Luke’s hair, but it was too short to make purchase. He let his head fall back, eyes closed, as Luke sucked him a little harder.

  “Good?” Luke mumbled with a mouthful of Alex’s prick.

  Alex laughed under his breath. “Yeah. It’s good. Use your hand, stroke it while you suck. Yes, oh, fuck, fuck, yes. Like that.”

  Luke had reacted at once. Now his big hand engulfed Alex’s cock, moving in time to the eager sucking action of his lips and tongue. Too eager, his teeth scraped at Alex’s cock, but it was so hard now, so thick, that the pain caused no more than a small dip in the rising pleasure.

  “Want you to come in my mouth,” Luke managed to say.

  Alex paused in the rolling of his hips. He focused through the haze of arousal to look down at the other guy. “You’ve thought about this a lot, huh?”

  Luke released Alex’s cock and swiped his tongue over his lips again. He looked as though he was going to reply, but instead only nodded. Then he cut his gaze, his expression twisting into shame, but he didn’t try to move away.

  “Hey.” Alex waited until Luke looked up. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting something.”

  Luke shifted on the bed a little bit, putting distance between his mouth and Alex’s throbbing cock. “Maybe I should go.”

  Alex fisted his dick. “You could do that. If you really want. Is that what you really want, Luke?”

  It was the first time he’d said the other guy’s name aloud, and it clearly affected Luke, who shuddered and sighed out a gasping, breathy sort of moan. Still, he turned his face away and hung his head. His dick, which had been thrusting up from between those tree trunk thighs, even started to wilt a little.

  What the hell was he doing, Alex thought. He should step aside and toss the guy his clothes. Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya, as the saying went. He could finish himself off in the shower in five minutes and be asleep another five after that, and no fucking drama.

  Instead, he sat on the bed next to Luke. Hips and thighs touching. He leaned against Luke, nuzzled his neck before withdrawing.

  “There’s nothing wrong,” he repeated, “with wanting something.”

  Luke said nothing at first. They sat there for a minute or so. Breathing in, breathing out, and that was all.

  Alex pushed Luke gently back, urging him to settle on the bed against the pillows. He snagged a condom from the nightstand drawer — he never forgot to stock his hotel room, and it was never for “just in case,” because with Alex Kennedy there was always a reason to need a rubber. He slid it and the small bottle of lube beneath the pillow as he spooned behind the other man. Luke tensed, but didn’t try to move away. After a few seconds, his trembling eased.

  “I’m sorry,” Luke said.

  Alex huffed soft laughter. “Shhh.”

  His hand slipped around to take Luke’s cock into his fist. Luke startled, but Alex didn’t stop. Slow, slow, easy and light strokes, until Luke’s cock was once again standing up proud. Alex closed his eyes, letting his own dick get hard against the smooth, thick muscles of Luke’s ass and thighs.

  “Tell me what you’ve thought about,” Alex said in a low voice.

  Luke sighed. “I…shit. I just want…I want…”

  Alex didn’t push for more. He pressed his teeth against Luke’s bare shoulder. He rocked his hips slowly, nudging at Luke with his cock, letting the pleasure of that pressure fill him. With a small shift and a few seconds effort, he filled his palm with a dollop of lube. When he stroked it down Luke’s prick, the other man cried out, wordless and hoarse.

  He kept the pace steady. His grip, firm. Stroke, stroke, stroke, then a twist of his palm around the head of Luke’s dick, then down again. A caress of the other man’s balls. A stroke of a lubed finger along the sweet spot between Luke’s balls and asshole, and then, lightly, a firm but gentle pressure there. When Luke moaned and pushed against that touch, Alex bit back a grin. Luke might not be able to tell him what he wanted with his voice, but his asshole sure was talking.

  More lube. Another gentle probe of the tight ring of muscles. Another series of twisting strokes up and down Luke’s dick. A dewy glisten of precome formed at the tip of Luke’s dick and slid down the shaft, mingling with the lube. The sight of it, yeah, fuck, that was hot.

  Alex was usually the one getting his cock sucked or stroked, because that was how he liked it, but right now, here, something about Luke made him want to give the pleasure, not just take it. Maybe it was because he was a virgin, at least when it came to guys. Maybe it was something else, an idea of karma and payback. A way to make it up to the universe for the fuckery Alex had done. A good deed.

  Luke had started pushing into Alex’s grip. Alex slowed the stroking. He shifted, one leg pressing between Luke’s, and shifted their bodies so Luke was more on his back with Alex on his side. He let his fingers press again at Luke’s asshole, watching the other man’s face. Nothing but desire there. He pressed a little harder, letting his fingertip ease inside. Luke made a wordless noise, but there was no way Alex was getting in there without some more lube, more preparation, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to try to get in there without asking first.

  “Here?” He pushed in again, not too deep, just barely breaching the ring of muscle. “Is this what you want?”

  The other man didn’t answer at first, but then said quietly, “I’ve used…things…when I’m jacking off. Yeah. I want that.”

  That was enough of an answer for Alex, surprised that Luke had admitted to assplay, although honestly not surprised the guy had done it. He lubed up again. Moved back into position. Luke’s cock had softened, but that didn’t matter right now. Alex’s was hard enough for both of them.

  He pushed his finger inside to the first knuckle. Then, when Luke didn’t protest, all the way in. Then out, slowly. Carefully, although as it turned out he didn’t need to be as cautious as he’d expected. Luke’s greedy little asshole had clearly seen some action before, because when Alex pressed in with a second finger, the other man opened for him.

  “Like a fucking champ,” Alex murmured.

  Luke shuddered, groaning. His cock, limp on his thigh, leaked a steady stream of clear fluid. Alex slid two fingers inside him again, this time twisting, and could feel the growing knot of the other man’s prostate. His own cock throbbed, knowing exactly how good that sweet pressure felt.

  “Have you ever come this way?” he asked.

  Luke shook his head. “No, no, just…I just tried a thing, but no, I didn’t…”

  Alex wondered what “a thing” was that Luke had stuck in his ass while jacking off, but now wasn’t the time to find out. Anyway, did it matter? If there was going to be any judgement about Luke using something that wasn’t meant to be a sex toy in his pursuit of getting off, it wasn’t going to come from Alex.

  “Do you want me to fuck you, Luke?” Luke didn’t answer with words, and although the way he ground himself down on Alex’s fingers seemed like agreement, it wasn’t enough. Not for safety and not for Alex’s ego, either. “You have to say it.”

  “I want you to fuck me,” Luke said. “Please.”

  The “please,” so pleading, so polite, sent a surge of desire through Alex’s dick so strong he had to take a moment and breathe through it before he could withdraw his fingers and burrow beneath the pillow for the condom. It took him only a moment or so after that to tear it open, to sheathe himself, to add some lube. He pressed his rock hard dick against Luke’s hole, pushing gently.

  “I want it,” Luke said and moved his body to push himself harder onto Alex’s cock.

  His dick went in suddenly, fast enough to make them both cry out. Alex gripped Luke’s hip, not moving, but Luke was already rocking his hips to get that hard length deeper inside him. He shook with his pleasure, muttering pleas over and over. His cock slapped his thigh until Alex reached around t
o grip it. Then Luke fucked into Alex’s grip.

  Alex had thought to take this slow and easy, but Luke clearly couldn’t hold off. It was clear he was new to this, rocking so fiercely he almost pulled Alex’s cock out of him, but it was also easy to see that he was not in complete control, and that was hot enough to bring Alex close to the edge faster than he’d expected.

  He fucked deeper, find that perfect rhythm. Making it work. Getting there, but not alone, making sure Luke was getting there, too. Their bodies slapped. The pillow shifted, bunching, and Alex yanked it out of the way. Luke strained and arched, writhing now, his cock leaking a continuous stream of precome that was started to tinge a creamy white. Alex was holding off only because he wanted to make sure the other guy came first — a matter of pride, to not leave Luke in the lurch. Not this, his first time.

  “I’m gonna come.”

  Luke panted the words, ending on a strangled groan. His cock, still only half-hard, fountained creamy white fluid, not in jets, but a constant surging waterfall…the way you came from ass play, and the sight of that sent Alex spinning and falling into his own fierce climax. It was short, sharp and brilliant, and for those few glorious seconds, the world stopped turning and there was only this, only pleasure, nothing else but that, and as the sublime oblivion overtook him, Alex thought he could make it through at least one more day.

  Chapter 2

  Alex had not asked Luke to spend the night. Luke hadn’t asked if he could stay and had headed out without fanfare. So when a knock came at the hotel room door at just past eleven the next morning, and a bleary eyed and bed-headed Alex looked through the peephole, the very last fucking thing he expected to see was the man whose cherry he’d popped the night before.