Wanna Be Yours Read online

  Eric nodded. “Yeah. That makes sense. I like to provide pleasure. I like…I love, really love, being of service.”

  “Your profession shows that.”

  He looked surprised, then nodded. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “You like to please your partner, yes?”

  “Yes. Of course.”

  “You like to provide for your partner, not only tangible items or services, but pleasure. Not only taking out the trash or doing the laundry. You like to give comfort. Security. Emotional support.” She said this in a low voice as she watched his expression for his reaction.

  “Well…yeah. Of course. I mean, that’s what a good partner does,” Eric said.

  Madeline nodded. “Sadly, there’s no ‘of course’ about it, Eric.”

  “I know that.” He shook his head and gave her a sincere look. “I like to give up control. I like to be tied up so I don’t have to make any choices. It’s such a relief sometimes, you know?”

  “I know,” she said.

  His brow furrowed. “Do you?”

  “Yes. I do,” Madeline said without further explanation.

  “I love, love, fucking love, to make my partner come,” Eric continued when she stayed silent.

  “And do you demand your own pleasure when you give hers?”

  “No.”

  “It’s enough for you to give her an orgasm even if you don’t have one?”

  He paused, but said, “yes. I mean, I would say I prefer to have my own, too, but…yeah. If I get her off and I don’t, that’s okay sometimes.”

  “So denial is not entirely a hard line for you.”

  “No…yes…I mean…no.” He laughed. “I don’t like it as a thing. But I don’t mind being teased, so long as I know that eventually I’ll be able to finish.”

  “Thank you for being so willing to talk about it,” she told him.

  “And you? What do you like? What do you want and expect?”

  She had to take another sip of wine before she could answer him. “First, what I require in a play partner is much the same as I would ask of a romantic partner, but of course, to a lesser extent. Honesty. Forthrightness. Willingness to allow me to take the lead, to serve me, to do as he is told, even if whatever I ask is perhaps not what he, himself desires. Discussion, so that we can be on the same page. Mutual respect and consideration for real life schedules and responsibilities. I would not, for example, demand you provide service in a way that would interfere with your job. Or your health.”

  He didn’t say anything for a bit, as if digesting her words. Then, he nodded. “That all makes sense. And what would you ask of a romantic partner, to the greater extent?”

  “I’m not looking for a romantic partner,” she told him firmly. “I feel I should make that clear, especially, based upon what you’ve told me about that first experience you had.”

  “Okay,” he replied in a tone that said it wasn’t quite okay.

  Madeline leaned far enough to lightly touch one of his knees before settling back into her rocker. “I like you very much. I think we are compatible. Do you?”

  “Yes. To both. I like you, and I know we are compatible. You’ve tied me up, and it was…” He shrugged, seeming at a loss for words. She let him struggle for them. Finally, he said, “perfect.”

  This compliment sent a shiver through her. She stopped rocking, even slightly. For a fleeting instant, a pang of pain throbbed in her heart.

  Perfect.

  She’d been perfect for someone once before, and it had ended badly for her. She’d moved past that, and if she had been unable to purge the memories, she no longer allowed them to control her. Looking at Eric’s sincere expression, Madeline forced a smile that took only a heartbeat or two to become genuine.

  “Shall we spell it out, between us, then? What we want and how we’ll go about this?”

  “Yeah, that would be amazing.” He coughed lightly into a fist. “I mean, you’re talking about umm…just…”

  “An agreement between two consenting adults who enjoy similar kinks and would like to spend some time together.”

  Was that a flash of disappointment? If so, he hid it quickly. She wanted him to be disappointed, and the realization was almost enough to change her mind about all this. Arrogance, she scolded herself inwardly. Ego. You want him to want you, but you don’t want him to want you more than you want him to want you. How’s that for complicated?

  “Yeah,” Eric said. “All right.”

  Nine

  It was stupid of him to expect that Madeline was going to, what, offer him a collar or something right off the bat? Eric didn’t even want to wear a collar, never had. But he did want something more than casual play.

  “Wait,” he said, although he’d given his assent just a few seconds ago.

  Madeline didn’t look surprised. She nodded without saying anything. She sipped wine slowly, her eyes never leaving his face.

  “We have a connection,” he said.

  Her lips pursed. “I would agree with that. I wouldn’t be pursuing this if I didn’t think so.”

  “Are we just talking about sex things, then?”

  “I…well…” She cleared her throat and looked, for the first time, discomfited. “It’s not all sex, no. Is that all you want? The things that turn into sex, somehow? Because —”

  “No,” he interrupted sharply and was rewarded with a flash in her gaze. He softened his tone. “Sorry. I mean, no, it’s not all I want. Honestly, I could just go to U4ia every week and find someone to play with if I just wanted to get off. There are lots of members who are into that.”

  “Tell me, then, Eric, what you mean.”

  Her voice, God, like honeyed whiskey, like butterscotch, sweet and smoky and decadent. His cock twitched. He thought about draining the rest of his glass of wine, but didn’t. He was already buzzed, and not from the alcohol.

  “I really want to get to know you. See where this goes. No expectations —”

  “Everyone,” she said, “has expectations.”

  He stayed silent a moment, considering this. Honesty, he thought. If this was going to work at all, he needed to be honest with her.

  “I like you. I think you’re beautiful. Interesting.”

  “Thank you,” she cut in again, this time with a smile.

  Eric smiled, too. “You can never know where something is going in the beginning. Right? I’m just asking that we keep an open mind. If you don’t want to put a label on this, I get it. But I would like to know that we’re exclusive. That we keep ourselves open to where this goes.”

  “That sounds like a nice way for someone to get hurt,” Madeline said in a way that clearly showed she meant it would be him.

  Hell, it would be worth the risk, wouldn’t it?

  “I’ve been alone for a while, now,” he said. “I can honestly tell you I’ve never been in a relationship that gave me everything I wanted. Kink, affection, love and sex. I’ve had some of each, but never all of it at the same time.”

  “You think this might become all of it?”

  It was his turn not to say anything.

  Madeline put her glass down once more. “I can promise to treat you, and this, with the utmost care and respect, Eric. Beyond that….”

  “You can never know what anything will become,” he said.

  You can never know what anything will become.

  His words sliced at her, but Madeline refused to allow herself to flinch. His words had wounded her, but that wasn’t his fault. “You’re a very smart man, Eric Garcia.”

  “Thanks.”

  She stood, moving closer to him. He looked up at her, making no move to stand himself. He willingly kept himself below her, and she appreciated that right now. His honesty and vulnerability, too.

  “I’m not sure I can give you what you want,” she told him gently. “Ultimately, I mean. I can be open to the possibilities of something more than friendship, but I’m not sure I can ever give it to you. I want to b
e upfront about that.”

  He put his hands on her hips and moved forward to press his face to her belly. Surprised, she let her hands rest in his hair. Her fingers curled into the thick, dark depths of it.

  “I can promise you exclusivity,” she whispered and tingled at the idea of even that small commitment. “And respect.”

  “That’s a good start.”

  His voice was a little muffled. His breath, hot through the thin fabric of her summer weight dress. His hands squeezed on her hips and moved around to cup her ass. He pulled her closer to him, nuzzling at her.

  “Oh, my,” Madeline murmured without protest. His fingers inched up her dress to expose her silky panties beneath. His mouth found her bare stomach. “Oh. Oh…God. Eric…”

  He pressed his mouth to her center, over her panties. He kissed her there. Then again. He looked up at her. “I’m going to taste you.”

  She slapped his face.

  It was instinct. Desire, passion, a reaction to his impertinence and yes, perhaps her own fear. She put a hand to his throat, tipping his head back.

  “You ask,” she said in a low growl. Her pussy clenched. “You don’t tell.”

  His eyes had gone heavy lidded. He licked his lips. “Please. Please, let me taste you.”

  “Not here. Go upstairs to my bedroom. It’s the third door on the left. I’ll be up in a few minutes. I want you naked and ready for me.” She released him and stepped back.

  Eric got to his feet, swaying for a moment before steadying himself. He went at once to the stairs. She watched him go up them. She listened for the sound of his footsteps above.

  Madeline let out the breath she’d been keeping inside. She shook, her arousal sudden and fierce. Her clit rubbed the inside of her panties, and a quick dip of her finger inside the satin proved what she’d already known — she was slippery with desire. That fast, she thought. From one moment to the next, those few moments had aroused her, and aroused inside her, sensations she hadn’t allowed herself to feel in so long it was as though experiencing them again was the recollection of a dream. One she was now living again.

  That was enough to give her pause, but no more than that.

  She held her breath before she went through the open door to her bedroom. She found him inside, exactly as she’d commanded him to wait for her, and the breath eased out of her slowly and with relief strong enough to spark tears into her eyes. What a gift, she thought as she moved toward him. He knelt naked on her bed, his hands curled into fists and crossed behind his back. His cock was already hard. What a gift he was giving her, and did he even know it? She thought he must, but if he didn’t, Madeline was going to show him.

  “Gorgeous,” she said.

  He shivered noticeably. “Thank you, Madeline.”

  “I like the way my name sounds in your mouth.”

  Eric smiled. His cock pulsed, as visible as his shiver had been. “I like everything about you.”

  “You don’t know everything about me,” she said but laughed, charmed and relieved again that although he’d willingly put himself into this submissive position for her, he wasn’t cowering or servile.

  “I’ll learn.” He spoke with such confidence that she could almost believe him.

  She wanted to, anyway. To believe not only that he desired to learn her, but that he would be able to. Could she let him? She didn’t know yet, but she didn’t have to right now, did she? There was time.

  Madeline moved closer to stroke his cock from base to tip, pausing to make sure her fingertip caressed that little divot beneath the head. Eric rewarded her with a groan and a small thrust of his hips that he controlled quickly, but not before she’d gripped him, hard, to force him to keep still. His gasp this time was less of pleasure. More of surprise. A bit of pain.

  A muttering growl slipped out of her, unbidden but not unwelcome. “I want to devour you.”

  “Oh. God. Yes, please, I mean…”

  They both laughed. He’d been bending at her touch but knelt up straight and tall, shoulders squared, when she yanked his shaft. His laugh sputtered into a garbled moan. Hers lifted into a delighted chuckle.

  She put a hand on the back of his neck to pull his mouth to hers and let the kiss linger as she stroked him harder. She broke the kiss. Stopped the stroking. She looked into his eyes.

  “I’m not sure where even to begin,” she admitted. “I have so many ideas.”

  “I like ideas.” Eric’s voice had gone husky.

  He made to kiss her again, but she pulled away. “Ah, ah, ah. Greedy.”

  “I won’t deny it,” he told her plainly.

  “It’s been some time since I had such a greedy toy,” Madeline said.

  His eyes narrowed for a second. “Is that what I am? A toy?”

  She’d said it offhandedly, not meaning it as an insult, but clearly Eric had taken some offense. “You don’t like that?”

  “I don’t want to just be a toy, something you can break and toss away. No.” He shifted, keeping his arms crossed behind his back but settling his knees a bit wider. His cock was softening. “Even if we don’t end up together forever, I do want to be more than disposable.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “You don’t mind that I said something?”

  She shook her head and kissed him again. Softer this time. Gentle. She cupped his face, letting her thumbs caress the underside of his jaw. “You have a voice, Eric. Toys do not have a voice.”

  They stayed that way, their mouths closed but not kissing. It couldn’t be comfortable for him, kneeling this way, bending to her kiss. This was not the sort of pain she wanted him to feel, the kind that distracted and grew without any hint or promise of pleasure at the end.

  “Eric,” she said. “Would you let me hurt you?”

  The other times she’d suggested something, he’d eagerly replied, almost instantly. This time, he stayed silent. One breath. Two. She waited patiently.

  “Yes,” he answered at last in a voice gone even lower than it had been. “I think that would be all right.”

  She kissed him again and ran her hands down his arms to tug them until he uncrossed his hands from behind him. Using her body, she pushed his until he settled onto his heels. She nibbled his throat. Lower, his chest. She ran her hands over him. Chest, arms, belly. She delighted in the smoothness of his skin in contrast to the crisp and curling dark hair that tickled the backs of her hands.

  By the time she reached between them to take his cock again in her fist, he was thick and hard again. She cooed praise into his ear. How handsome. How thick, how hard, how perfect. With every word, he shuddered. By the time she’d finished, sweet, clear pre-come glistened at the tip of his cock, and every muscle in his back and shoulders had tensed.

  “I thought you were going to hurt me,” he breathed as she stroked.

  “I will.”

  “My…are you going to hurt my cock? Because —”

  She squeezed, not hard enough to truly hurt, but a warning about what it would be like if she chose to. He fell silent. She took pity. “No, I don’t intend to hurt this pretty cock. I won’t be able to use it if I do.”

  He puffed out a breath. “Phew. Okay.”

  “Would you let me, if I wanted to?”

  Eric looked at her and ran his tongue along his lower lip. His dark eyes gleamed. “I don’t know.”

  They’d spoken already of honesty, and she appreciated his. She didn’t want to force any of this. “Talking about it is different than doing it, yes? I mean, we can agree on many things. A safe word, for instance. Hard limits.”

  “Madeline?” Eric’s tone of concern brought her attention back to him.

  “I’m thinking.” Again, she ran her hands up his sides to let her palms find the twin knots of his nipples. She pinched them, suddenly and hard, digging in.

  He gasped and bit off his shout into a muttered curse. He’d instinctively tried to get away from her but stopped himself. His skin prickled into gooseflesh, and she ran a han
d over it, pleased by his response.

  “On your back,” she told him.

  He moved to obey her command. She stood on the side of the bed and stripped out of her clothes quickly, tossing her leggings and tunic onto a chair along with her panties and bra. Naked, she ran her hands along her own body to cup her breasts. Peaches, Hiro had called them, not melons, but now she forced that memory away. It had no place here, the way he had no place here.

  “You’re beautiful,” Eric said.

  She climbed on top of him to straddle his thighs, his cock rising between them almost as if it were her own. It was hers, she thought. No. It should be hers…but she didn’t own it, or him, not yet, and this thought, as with the other, had no place in this moment.

  “Ask me again,” she said, deliberately being obtuse.

  “Please,” Eric said. “Let me taste you.”

  She’d been hoping she wouldn’t have to clarify her demand but had been expecting she would need to. “Oh, you clever, clever boy.”

  “Please,” he repeated. “Ride my mouth and let me make you come.”

  Oh.

  Oh, God, she thought, already moving up, up and over his body so she could get her pussy onto his mouth. She gripped the headboard, settling herself into place. His tongue found her clit at once. His hands found her hips, gripping her. Madeline rocked, shifting, and Eric’s tongue kept up its perfect, steady licking as she moved.

  Sometimes, it could take her awhile to get there, but it wasn’t going to now. The pleasure rose like a river in a spring storm, and like a flash flood in the desert, filled her every cavern and canyon, every dip and curve of her. She came, hard, crying out his name.

  Eric didn’t stop making love to her pussy with his mouth, and the pleasure rose again. Softer this time, but still swift, and while the first had been rough and fierce, the second orgasm rippled through her in small, precise waves. At the end of it, panting, her clit pulsing, Madeline let herself melt into the bed next to him and splayed, arms and legs akimbo.

  Silence.

  She couldn’t even think about trying to open her eyes. Cool air drifted over her body. Eric’s shoulder, a spot of warmth, anchored her to him. To this. To them.