Wanna Be Yours Read online

  “They’re in the lobby, checking in. We good to go?”

  “Yes, I should think so,” Madeline said. “Eric?”

  “Yeah. Yes.” He coughed lightly into his fist and drew himself up straight, trying not to show that he was sucking in his gut.

  Madeline’s gaze took it all in. Her small smile told him she hadn’t missed his tricks. She waited until Andy had moved toward the next group before turning to Eric.

  “I thought we’d do something simple, but pretty. A harness tie. You’re familiar?”

  He nodded and shifted again at the fullness in his crotch. Madeline’s gaze did not drop to the growing bulge, and Eric felt strangely grateful. It wasn’t like he had to be ashamed of getting turned on or anything; this entire space had been designed to provide sexual gratification in a variety of ways, using a lot of different tools. But he did want to make sure she knew he was being respectful of this experience. They’d be sharing it, and while it was going to be intimate, it wasn’t necessarily going to be…personal.

  Madeline ran the length of cord through her fingers, snapping it taut before letting it go loose. “This is gorgeous rope. It’s going to look lovely against your pretty skin.”

  Heat rose from his chest to his throat. “You think I’m pretty?”

  “I do,” she told him, but didn’t have time to say more because the first group of guests had gathered in front of them.

  For the next thirty minutes, Madeline tied him up. The rope passed over and around his chest and waist and snugged his arms tight behind him. Eric stayed on his knees, letting himself relax into the ropes. She kept up a running commentary the entire time, showing the group exactly how she worked the knots into place.

  Her hands on his bare skin were warm. Gentle, but firm. Every now and then, she would pause to rest a hand on the back of his neck, her fingers curled. Once, she smoothed her palm over his hair. Every touch sent a wave of pleasure through him, not necessarily erotic, but sensual.

  Intimate.

  “Good boy,” Madeline breathed into his ear.

  She’d finished. As promised, she’d created a harness of ropes and knots interlinked all over him, binding him tightly into place on his knees with his arms behind him, wrists tied together. The ropes had been placed so intricately and with such skill that they framed his nipples and naval, criss-crossing over his chest. Two lengths passed around his thighs and between his legs. The rope pressed his balls and went between his asscheeks. He wished he’d taken off the briefs. As he imagined the way the rope would have rubbed his asshole, his cock swelled. He kept his gaze straight forward, but heat flushed his throat and cheeks.

  Madeline put her hand on the back of his neck again to address their audience. “Any questions? Don’t be shy.”

  A young woman in a black dress raised her hand. “How long have you guys been together?”

  Eric glanced at Madeline, who looked surprised. “Us? Oh. We’re not a couple. I’ve only met Eric tonight for the first time.”

  “Oh, but I thought…” the girl looked confused, shaking her head. “I just figured you’d have to be a couple. I mean, you worked so effortlessly together.”

  “This wasn’t a particularly complicated tie, but thank you.” Her fingers squeezed his neck once, gently, before she withdrew her hand.

  “I guess I assumed that you’d have to be a couple with someone before you could trust them enough to let them tie you up,” the girl continued, adding hastily, “I’m not trying to be rude.”

  “I wouldn’t usually let a stranger tie me up, and certainly not in private,” Eric said. “This is a special occasion, because we have guests tonight. I’m in a safe space, with people around me that I trust. The club owner vouched for Madeline, so I felt totally comfortable. In the event that something happened that I didn’t like, I’m not alone here.”

  “You should always feel safe with the person you’re playing with,” Madeline said quietly. “Always.”

  “What’s it like? I mean, why do you like it?” A different woman, this one with a pen and notepad, looked at Eric.

  He took a few seconds to form his answer. Tied this way, it was easy for him to slip into a sensual daze but difficult to concentrate on answering questions. Another gentle squeeze of Madeline’s fingers on the back of his neck, that renewed connection of flesh on flesh, centered him. Focused. He shifted to ease some of the pressure in his muscles, beginning to ache the tiniest bit from the strain of being so still.

  “I’m an ER doctor. Every day, I have to make decisions about people, how to help them. Sometimes it’s life and death. Very fast-paced. Never the same. Stressful. When I’m tied up, I can’t do anything but…be. Here, present. Still. I have no choice about it.”

  The woman scribbled something in her notebook while several of the other observers murmured to each other. Madeline leaned again to whisper into his ear, more soft words of praise.

  “You were wonderful,” she said. “So perfect.”

  The brush of her lips on his earlobe thickened his cock still more, and he didn’t dare look down to draw attention to the erection. People saw it, of course. He could tell by their expressions that they were intrigued, a little embarrassed, maybe even a few of them turned on themselves.

  After the sessions had all ended and the guests had gone, Madeline began working the knots free. It took a little less time to undo him than it had to truss him, but only a little. When she’d pulled the last of the rope away, she hissed in a breath and ran her fingers over the lightly indented marks the bondage had left behind.

  “I love the way this looks,” she murmured and looked up as though surprised at her own words.

  Their gazes meshed and melded. Her hands were still on him. He was still on his knees.

  She was beautiful.

  One of her hands went below his elbow. She was helping him up, he realized. Stiff-legged from being in the same position for so long, Eric got to his feet. Madeline kept her hands on him until he’d steadied.

  “There,” she said, her tone satisfied. “Would you like a drink of water?”

  She handed him a bottle from the small cooler next to the table without waiting for an answer. He took it, cracking the cap off and finishing half the bottle greedily as Madeline looped the rope back into a coil and put it in its place on the table.

  “Even if you’ve not been doing something intense, you should hydrate,” she said over her shoulder. “I suppose I don’t need to tell you that.”

  He hadn’t been feeling weak with exertion, not from the really very mild play they’d just shared, but her words threatened to knock his knees. She spoke with calm authority, as though she not only knew what was best for him, but she would make sure he got it. For a moment, Eric froze in place, struck with a longing so deep and fierce he was afraid to move in case it might shatter him like a glass dropped on a concrete floor.

  Madeline looked up. Caught his gaze. Her chin lifted and she didn’t smile, but her eyes stayed on his. She finished coiling the rope and tucked it into the box. She was going to pack up and leave. Would he see her again? What if she never came back?

  “Would you like to grab a coffee after this? Or a drink, maybe a beer or glass of wine? It’s late for coffee. Do you even drink coffee?” His words blurted out of him, and he cursed himself inwardly. No chill.

  “I do drink coffee. Yes. But I’ll have to pass on the offer, thank you.”

  “Another time?” Eric stepped toward her, not missing the way Madeline drew back. He stopped himself from moving closer, regretting how desperate he’d seemed. That wasn’t cool and definitely not okay by any kind of social etiquette, but especially frowned upon at U4ia. No always meant no.

  “I don’t think so. But this was lovely,” she said. “A really nice introduction to the club. Thank you for that.”

  “Sure. No problem. I mean, you’re welcome.”

  They stared at each other for a moment or so longer after that, before Madeline gave him a nod he couldn�
�t decipher. She pushed past him, heading for the lobby. Eric stared after her until she’d moved through the door and disappeared.

  Then he put his clothes back on.

  Three

  “I’m allowed to be picky.” Madeline said this as she held the steaming mug of coffee close to her face and breathed in the strong scent. She gave Alex a lift of her eyebrows at his expression. “I am!”

  Alex Kennedy had once been the most rascally sort of rogue around, but marriage had tamed him. Mostly. When she and Alex had met more than a decade ago, both of them had been in very different emotional places. They’d been smart enough not to let anything sexual happen between them, even if there’d been times when both of them might have been foolish enough to act on those impulses. It was why they’d been able to stay friends.

  Even so, he could be a bit of a pain in the ass, especially when it came to her love life. Nosy, opinionated, determined to make sure she was taken care of. He had a bit of a debt complex, feeling as though he owed her something for the way she’d been there for him in what might have been the worst time of his life. She could scarcely fault him for caring for her, even if his methods of demonstrating his affection for her sometimes became a bit overbearing.

  “There’s being picky, and there’s shutting yourself away from opportunity because you’re too hung up on the past,” Alex told her bluntly.

  He meant Hiro, and it wasn’t like she could argue with him about it. She hadn’t spoken to Hiro in three years. He called her, randomly, every few months. She refused to answer any of the calls.

  “I’ve only just arrived in Dayton, Alex. I’ve barely settled in myself. I haven’t had time to meet anyone.” She sipped more coffee to counter the slightly bitter taste of her dishonesty.

  He scoffed. “Like it takes a lot of time?”

  “Look, friend, just because one of us used to be indiscriminate,” she began and had to cut herself off, laughing, at Alex’s disgruntled expression.

  “That was a long time ago. I’m totally monogamous now and have been for-ever.” Alex sat back in the seat and waved a hand in her direction.

  “Well, and how delightful for you, and how delicious for your lovely wife, but the fact remains. You had your years of tomcatting around, but that doesn’t mean I need to do the same. It’s fine to be alone. Good, in fact.”

  “You’ve been alone too long.”

  She paused before answering him. “Technically, I have not been alone. I’ve had several companions over the past few years.”

  “Companions,” he scoffed.

  “Fuck buddies?” She arched an eyebrow.

  “Any of them mean something to you?”

  She could not answer yes. “They provided a few pleasant hours of exactly what I wanted from them.”

  “Nobody important then.”

  “Look, I did my time in the cell,” she said, referring to the marriage they both knew had been bad. “I’ve no desire to ever repeat such an experience. I’m beyond ecstatic for you, love, that you’ve found such an amazing woman. Certainly she needs to be something special to put up with you.”

  “Hey!”

  They both laughed. She reached for his hand and pressed the knuckles to her lips for a moment before giving it back to him. “I’m all right, Alex. I’m old enough to know what I need and want.”

  Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying you should go jumping into bed with a whole slew of randos or anything. But…you know. Going out on a date now and then wouldn’t be the worst thing. Even if it’s just for, like you said, companionship.”

  “You haven’t been on a date in a long time, obviously. This is the era of swiping left and right and lord knows, upside down and backwards. We live in a world constantly banging on about instant gratification. It’s not that I haven’t had offers,” Madeline put in before Alex could protest. “My God, I’ve had them. Young men so eager it’s a little frightening. I’m not interested in having to put them in their place or defend myself for not being interested. And heaven forbid you turn them down, then they start with the name calling. I mean, I suffer the same doubts about myself as any woman does, I suppose, but I am not fat. Or ugly.”

  “You’re gorgeous, and you know it.”

  “Apparently, I’m not supposed to know it, and I am certainly not supposed to say so,” Madeline said wryly. “I’ve given up on those dating apps. Deleted the lot of them. Anyway, I’m just trying to get settled in. I don’t have time to be looking for a serious relationship.”

  “Celibacy is borrrring,” Alex told her.

  Madeline laughed. “Says the married man with the beautiful wife he adores.”

  “I’m monogamous, not celibate.” Alex grinned, then leaned forward to look at her as his expression became serious. “I just want to make sure you’re all right. You moved all the way over here at my suggestion. I want to make sure you’re happy. That’s all.”

  “You’re a good friend.” She stopped herself from saying he was a good boy at the last minute. Alex was a good boy, Madeline had no doubts about that, but he wasn’t her boy, good or otherwise.

  “I’m trying to be.” He looked serious and sat back in the chair. “I want you to be happy, Madeline. I know Dayton’s not the sort of cosmopolitan atmosphere you’re used to. But it’s nice here.”

  “It is. Very nice, indeed. I’m not dissatisfied. I have my little house, with all of its charming corners and curves. I have my little yard with the flowers and the small fish pond. I have my bird feeders and my lovely wicker rocker to sit in while I watch the birds feast. It’s a nice life, Alex. Quiet.” Madeline sipped her coffee, thinking of Eric’s invitation from a few nights before.

  Maybe she ought to have accepted, but where would that have put them? It had been an offer for a date, that had been clear, and she liked him from the start, too much to allow the possibility that she might hurt his feelings when she had to make it clear she was not interested in dating. Male-female dynamics were frustrating and confusing enough. Throwing in the further dynamic of dominance and submission to that made it even harder to keep things straight, without overtones.

  “I’ve joined a club,” she admitted finally. They’d been friends too long for her to keep such a secret, even if she wanted to.

  Alex’s eyebrows lifted. “What kind of club?”

  “You know what kind.”

  “I didn’t even know there was one,” he began, then stopped himself abruptly. “Good for you.”

  “I could have taken up scrapbooking, but I thought I might be better off doing this,” she said.

  Alex, of course, knew that she still owned part of The Veil and Crown. He knew, too, who owned the other half. He didn’t say anything about that, and she was glad. She didn’t want to talk about Hiro.

  “I did meet someone.” Before he could respond, she quickly outlined the demonstration night, the rope play. “He’s a doctor in an emergency room. His name is Eric. I’m sure we’ll end up playing together again, because he was quite a delight.”

  “So…Dr. Eric from the ER asked you out?” Alex sat up a little, looking perky. “Innnnnteresting.”

  She’d known Alex would make that leap of assumption, even though she hadn’t said so. “Yes. Sort of.”

  “How do you ‘sort of’ ask someone out?”

  “I mean he floated an offer for coffee toward me, but I declined.”

  Alex groaned and clutched at his heart. “You’re killing me.”

  “We had a lovely time with just playing,” Madeline said. “I don’t want to muddy it by having a date. It’s hard to find someone whose kinks align with yours, someone you also like and whose company you enjoy, but it’s so, so easy to confuse that with something…more. Too soon, too fast, too hard.”

  “So, because it’s hard, you should stop trying?”

  She laughed at the leering winky face he gave her, but the chuckle eased into a sigh. She shook her head. “It’s not that. I’m not interested in a relationship. That’s all. A
nd I don’t want to encourage someone to expect something from me that I’m not able to provide, when I know already how difficult it can be to find a partner if you don’t fit society’s mold.”

  “Fuck society’s mold,” Alex said in a dark voice.

  Alex dragged his fork through the chocolate frosting on the piece of cake in front of him. He licked it off deliberately before pointing the fork at her. “I do realize the irony of me being the one to push the idea of a relationship on you.”

  “When you’re happy, you want everyone to be happy,” Madeline said. “I love you for that.”

  “You want to come over for dinner on Saturday? We’ll do a little barbecue.”

  “Hmm. Tempting. Will there be croquet?”

  He snorted. “If there isn’t, are you going to refuse to come?”

  “Of course not.” She grinned. “Just asking.”

  “I don’t have croquet. Nobody plays it. We have washer toss and corn hole.” He gave her a significant look at that. “The kind with the beanbags, don’t get excited.”

  “I’m terrifically excited,” she told him. “I can scarcely contain it.”

  “Good. It’ll be fun. Olivia’s bestie is in town for a couple weeks. She’s thinking of transplanting here, too.” He grinned.

  Madeline shook her head, amused. “Dayton should hire you as their official representative.”

  “What can I say? I like to do good for the world.” He put his hand over his heart and gave her a sincere look.

  “Fine. I’ll be there. What can I bring?”

  “Yourself.”

  She studied him suspiciously. “How about dessert?”

  “Yeah, you can bring that, too.” He waved his fork around. “I like chocolate.”

  Four

  “Good morning, Dr. Garcia.” The nurse, clad in blue scrubs, pushed the clipboard with the nursing home visitor registration across the top of the desk.