Tangled Up Read online

  3

  OH, CRAP.

  The first thing our mother taught us was never to show a man you’re broken-hearted. I’d virtually dropped the pieces of mine in his lap.

  ‘What I mean is, I’ve learned to look after myself.’ I realized we were in Notting Hill and felt unnerved. ‘How do you know where I live?’

  ‘There are some things we need to talk about, but first I want to check that head of yours.’

  I wanted to check my head, too. What had possessed me to climb into a car with Hunter Black? Obviously I had a concussion. I needed a health check, or at the very least a reality check.

  ‘We don’t have anything to talk about, but I do want to know how you have my address.’

  He didn’t answer me. Instead he took a right and then a left into the leafy, tree-lined street where I lived with my sister.

  Our apartment was on the top floor of a lovely brick building, with views over the rooftops toward Kensington Gardens. If you stood on tiptoe and stuck your head out of our bathroom window, you could see Prince Harry (only kidding, sadly). We were right in the middle of shops, restaurants and the market. I loved it. Of course, since Hayley and Nico got together—you probably felt the ground shake—I’d had it to myself quite a bit. I didn’t mind that. It meant I could practise in the living room without accidently kicking her or getting yelled at when I knocked a lamp off the table. Normally coming home soothed me. Tonight I was officially freaked out.

  ‘Good night, Hunter. Thanks for the lift.’

  ‘Is Hayley home?’

  ‘How do I know? And why do you care?’

  ‘You had a blow to the head. I’m not leaving you alone.’

  ‘I want you to leave me alone.’ I was fumbling with my seat belt, fingers slippery and shaky with nerves. Turned out I couldn’t even do that without help and I felt the warm strength of his hand as it covered mine.

  His fingers were warm, strong and totally steady and it irritated me that he had so much control when I had none.

  He leaned forward and his jaw, dark with stubble, was only inches from my eyes. I looked at the sensual curve of his lips and the urge to press my mouth against his was almost painful.

  And then he looked at me and I knew he was fighting the same urge.

  For a moment we sat there, the moment of intimacy disturbed by the flash of headlights from a passing car.

  Mouth tight, he unclipped my seat belt. ‘You’re bleeding. I should have taken you to the E.R.’

  ‘It’s nothing.’ I was struggling to focus, but it had nothing to do with the blow to my head. There was something about being close to Hunter Black that made the most level-headed of women dizzy. ‘I’ll be fine. Good night. Great to catch up with you again after all this time. Have a nice life.’

  I never was any good at delivering sarcasm, a fact confirmed by his smile. It was a slow, sexy, slightly exasperated smile that acknowledged everything that lay between us. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I preferred to step over it with my eyes shut.

  Desperate to get away from that smile, those shoulders, the man, I virtually scrambled out of his car and sprinted to the door.

  ‘Stairs or elevator?’ He was right behind me and I gritted my teeth. When I was eighteen, he’d left me at acceleration speeds that would have left his car standing, but now I couldn’t shake him off.

  ‘You’ve spent too long in Hollywood. We say lift. And you can go now.’

  ‘Not before I’ve seen you safely home.’

  ‘I’m home.’ I didn’t feel up to the stairs—not that I would have admitted that in a million years—so I stepped into the tiny lift but the moment he stepped in after me I realized my mistake. We were on the second floor. To be honest, it was crazy that we even had a lift in this building. The space was barely big enough for two people. It certainly wasn’t big enough for two people who were trying to keep their distance. My arm brushed against his and I flattened myself against the doors.

  It was only two floors but it felt like going to the top of the Empire State Building. Every one of those floors felt like twenty. Every second felt like an hour. I could feel his gaze on me and it took all my willpower not to look at him.

  I was determined not to.

  I wasn’t going to.

  I wasn’t…

  Crap.

  I turned my head.

  My eyes moved to his chest, to the narrow strip of his tie, the silk of his shirt and upward to the dark depths of his eyes. I hated him for walking away so easily, for not finding me impossible to leave—and I hated myself for caring so much—but that didn’t change the fact he was spectacular. His features were intensely masculine, his hair black as the devil, cropped too short to soften those hard features. No one would argue that Hunter’s hotness factor was right up in quadruple figures. And I didn’t need to wonder what it would be like to be kissed by him. I knew. The memory was embedded deep in my brain. I hadn’t been able to delete it.

  I told myself it was the bang on my head that was making me feel swimmy. Anything other than admit it was him.

  I hated him for making me want him again.

  ‘It’s good to see you again, Ninja.’ The combination of his tone and the way he was looking at me made me feel as if someone had kicked my legs out from under me.

  ‘I don’t feel the same way. And don’t call me Ninja.’

  It made me think of the day we’d first spoken. I was sixteen and I’d lost a competition to a girl from a rival karate club. I’d been furious with myself, not least because I should have won. I would have, but I hadn’t been concentrating. Instead I’d been glancing around the room to see if my parents were going to show up and embarrass me. They went through a hideous phase where they both showed up to everything, not because they cared but because they were trying to outdo each other in proving who was the better parent. In the end neither of them came. I probably should have been relieved they hadn’t been there to witness my humiliation, but I wasn’t. It just proved what I already knew. That neither of them cared.

  I sat at the edge of the gym on my own, putting more energy into holding back tears than I’d ever put into beating my opponent, when Hunter squatted down in front of me.

  I knew who he was. Who didn’t? All the girls were crazy about Hunter. He was twenty years old, a skilled fighter, the youngest black belt our club had ever had and seriously hot, but he was too focused on training to be interested in a relationship, and anyway, he wouldn’t have noticed me, because I was too young. Right at that moment I would have fast-forwarded time if that had been an option.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  I looked at him. ‘I lost. I made mistakes.’

  ‘That’s the past. Next time you’ll win, Rosie.’

  For some reason the fact that he knew my name made me feel better.

  ‘It doesn’t matter anyway,’ I muttered. ‘No one will be watching.’

  ‘I’ll be watching.’ He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet. ‘Now go back out there, forget what’s in the past and start fresh. Watch your balance. Keep your focus and concentration. Mistakes are learning experiences. Move on. Forget everything else in your life. That’s what I do.’

  I looked up at him, skinny, angular teenage me, and tried to imagine this broad-shouldered god having anything in his life he needed to forget. ‘You have stuff you need to forget?’ He gave a faint smile and brushed a stray tear away from my face with the pad of his thumb. ‘Everyone does, Ninja.’

  Ninja.

  I liked the name. It made me feel strong and suddenly I didn’t feel like crying anymore.

  He might have said something else but at that moment my sister flew across the room, school bag heavy with books banging against her hip. Her hair had half escaped from her ponytail and her breasts were doing their best to push the buttons of her shirt right out of the holes.

  ‘Sorry I’m late. I had extra maths tuition and then Mum and Dad were arguing about where we were going to spend Christmas,
so I gave up and left them. I ran all the way.’

  My parents hadn’t made it but my sister was here.

  Hunter smiled at me and let his hand drop. ‘Now you have two people watching you.’

  I fell in love with him right there and then. Not because he was hot but because he cared.

  There were a hundred other things he could have been doing, girls he could have been smiling at or flirting with, but he’d chosen to spend his time watching gawky, awkward, messed-up sixteen-year-old me in her karate competition.

  From that moment on I no longer minded whether my parents turned up or not. I had Hunter. He was the one certain thing in my very uncertain world. He watched every competition; he offered advice; he trained with me. I knew he wasn’t interested in me like that. I was just a kid. But suddenly I wasn’t a kid anymore and on my eighteenth birthday he stopped treating me as one.

  Everything changed that night, apart from the fact he still called me Ninja.

  It was my nickname and it made me feel warm and special.

  Hearing him saying it now was like having a knife twisted in my insides because it reminded me so much of that horrible messed-up time.

  I felt the breath moving in and out of my lungs and I was holding myself still so there was no chance I’d accidently brush against him a second time. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and I stared at the wall even though I could feel him watching, cool and calm.

  I stumbled out of the lift in my haste to get away from him, took the few stairs that led to our attic flat and had my keys in my hand when the door opened.

  Hayley stood there. She was wearing skin-tight jeans and a top that emphasized the fact she’d inherited the breast DNA. The fact that her hair was loose and messy told me that Nico had been round. ‘How was boring Brian?’ Her voice trailed off as she saw my forehead. ‘Oh my God, what happened? Only you can come back from a dinner date with a black eye.’

  ‘It’s not a black eye.’

  ‘Did it happen at work? You need another job. Or at least a different hobby. I recommend astronomy.’ And then she saw Hunter. She couldn’t have looked more surprised if Mars had bashed into Pluto. Her eyes went wide and then flew to mine.

  I couldn’t exactly blame her for looking confused.

  For the past five years I’d refused to talk about Hunter. He was a subject we avoided. And suddenly here he was, dominating our doorstep.

  I could tell she didn’t have a clue what she was supposed to say.

  She just didn’t get it and I didn’t blame her.

  She sent me a look that said ‘WTF.’

  I sent her a silent transmission. Play it cool.

  ‘I’m hallucinating,’ she muttered. ‘For a moment I thought I saw a rat on my doorstep.’

  ‘Hayley.’ Unmoved by the less than effusive welcome, Hunter placed his hand on my lower back and urged me into the apartment.

  ‘She needs to sit down.’

  I heard my sister mutter, ‘She’s not the only one,’ and suddenly felt a flood of relief that she was here and I was no longer on my own with this. I’d heard people say how much they loved being an only child, how great it was to have all that attention. I’d never understood that. I couldn’t imagine what my life would look like if it didn’t have my sister in it. I was pretty sure it would be awful. I’d probably pretend it was great, because that’s what people did, wasn’t it? There were some things you were stuck with and some things you’d never admit to not liking.

  Being stuck with my sister was the best thing that had ever happened to me (apart from the fact she ended up with the whole breast gene. I found that hard to forgive).

  ‘What are you doing here, Hunter?’ Hayley sounded so fierce I jumped, but Hunter didn’t react.

  ‘Bringing Rosie home. I need ice and dressing pads for her head.’

  ‘I can sort out my own head.’ Actually I couldn’t. If I could have sorted out my own head, I would have done it long ago and I wouldn’t have been so screwed up about him. When it came to Hunter, my brain was as tangled as the cord of my headphones.

  ‘What happened to her head?’ Hayley sounded furious. ‘If you’ve hurt her again, Hunter Black, I swear I will donate your body to medical science.’

  ‘That happens when you’re dead. I’m still alive.’

  My sister sent him a dark look. ‘I could fix that.’ She had her arm round me and was drawing me toward the sofa. ‘Don’t get blood on it. You know I’m a rubbish housekeeper and I’m still dealing with the coffee stain from last month.’ My sister’s idea of dealing with a coffee stain was simply to turn the sofa cushion over.

  But I could tell she was worried and she paused for a moment, torn between the need to stop my head bleeding and a reluctance to leave me alone with Hunter.

  Hunter didn’t wait to be shown around our apartment. He found the kitchen, grabbed ice packs out of the fridge, wrapped them in a towel and brought them back to where I was sitting.

  He was a good person to have around in a crisis. The problem was that in my case he was usually the one causing the crisis.

  My sister tapped her foot. ‘You should go now, Hunter.’

  ‘I’m not leaving until I know she’s all right.’

  ‘Of course she’s all right,’ my sister snapped. ‘She’s with me. Who do you think looked after her when you walked out? I did. And you didn’t exactly hang around to check on her, did you? So you can stop pretending to be caring. You left her in pieces.’

  So much for my dignity. ‘Hayley—’

  ‘She cried every night for six months! She didn’t eat. She lost weight. So don’t think she’s going to agree to start that whole thing with you up again just because you happen to have shown up in her life again.’

  Holy crap. ‘Hayley!’

  ‘She pretends she’s over you—’

  ‘I am over him!’

  ‘—but she hasn’t been serious about a man since.’ My sister was in full flow, raging forward like a river that had burst its banks. ‘She dates men she can never, ever fall in love with, which basically means she has a boring sex life, and no girl of her age deserves a boring sex life, especially when she’s in her sexual prime! Do you know what I bought her for her birthday last year? A vibrator! And batteries are fucking expensive! And it’s your fault.’

  Hunter blinked. ‘It’s my fault batteries are expensive?’

  ‘It’s your fault she gets through so many. You are responsible for that, Hunter Black. You and no one else.’

  I was going to kill her. I would have liked to do it slowly but as I was about to die of humiliation, there was no time to waste. I glared at her, hoping she’d take the hint and shut up but it was too late—Hayley was in full protective-sister mode, firing on all cylinders like one of the rockets that fascinated her so much, and Hunter was looking at me with that smouldering, intense gaze that stripped me bare.

  He was one of the few people, possibly the only person apart from Hayley, who had ever understood me. There was a time when that had turned me on. Now it was just a great big fat inconvenience. I didn’t want him in my head, poking around in my deepest, darkest secrets. It made me feel vulnerable.

  I wasn’t that girl anymore. I’d grown up. Sure, I had a few scars, but who didn’t?

  As he’d once said to me, everyone had something.

  ‘You should leave now,’ I said stiffly. ‘Thanks for the lift.’

  He didn’t budge. He stood there, those powerful legs spread, towering over us like a conquering warrior. ‘Before I leave, I need to talk to you. There is something I need to say.’

  Hayley pursed her lips. ‘If it’s sorry, then you’re about five years too late.’

  I was starting to wish my sister would turn into one of those people who never finished their sentences.

  ‘There is nothing you need to say, Hunter. You were the one who told me to treat mistakes as learning experiences.’ I closed my eyes because looking at him made my head hurt and my heart hurt. ‘I learned.
It’s all fine.’

  ‘It’s not fine and you should definitely leave.’ Hayley repeated my words like some sort of recording device. ‘We know you’re good at that because you’ve done it before.’

  He stood there like Apollo, or maybe it was Zeus—sorry, Greek gods aren’t my thing—his eyes on my face as if he was working something out.

  Then his mouth tightened. ‘All right. We’ll do this another time.’

  Another time? Over my dead body. This one time had been more than I could handle.

  I was fast coming to the conclusion that reunions weren’t for me.

  As he strode out of our apartment, I waited for the click of the door and then flopped back on the sofa, on top of the magazine Hayley had been reading and the stuffed llama I’d bought her for Christmas.

  Hayley flopped back with me. ‘Holy crap.’

  ‘Yes.’ The llama was digging in my back and I pulled it out and flung it across the living room. ‘What the hell were you thinking, telling him I was broken-hearted?’

  ‘I’m sorry! I went into shock when I saw him standing there. My mouth and my brain lost the connection.’

  ‘I know the feeling. Do we still have that fire blanket in the kitchen? I might need you to throw it over me to put out the flames.’

  ‘He is hot, that’s for sure.’

  ‘I was talking about the flames of my embarrassment.’ ‘Oh.’

  ‘What were you thinking, saying all those things?’

  ‘I don’t know! I wasn’t expecting to see him. You could have warned me! You should have texted me or something. I had no idea Hunter was even back in London.’

  ‘Neither did I until an hour ago.’

  My sister thought about that. ‘He is smoking hot.’

  ‘He is not smoking hot.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s right, he’s the scrawniest, most pathetic specimen of manhood that ever stepped over our threshold. It’s amazing a gust of wind hasn’t blown him over. Are you seriously trying to pretend you don’t still want to rip his clothes off?’

  ‘If I’d met him for the first time this evening, maybe. But we have history. It’s all too complicated.’