Feel Like Making Love Read online

  It would take only a second to slip her finger beneath the elastic and get herself even more ready, and only another second more to slide her finger inside herself to make herself come. But it wasn't enough. Self-gratification wouldn't sate her need, not when tonight she'd finally had what she'd been dreaming of--Gavin's hands on her skin again. Any orgasm she achieved now would grant only a brief release.

  The room swam back into focus as she blinked and withdrew her hands. Lina sat up, the tug of her panties as she moved a sweet torture. The urge for sexual completion pulled at her, but she tried to put it aside. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, and caught sight of her face in the mirror on the far wall.

  She looked like a woman who'd set out to get fucked. Tousled hair, bright red lips, color high on her cheeks and sparkling eyes. Her sweater, tight on her breasts, showed the points of her nipples still erect, and her short skirt barely covered the curve of her ass. Bitterness and another wash of embarrassment stung her. She offered herself to him like a wanton whore, and been turned aside.

  A shower would make her feel better; it always did. If she could have slept in a pattering rain of hot water, she would. Lina stripped off the clothes she'd chosen so carefully and left them in a pile on the floor. She wanted to throw them in the garbage.

  Lina stepped into a shower so hot steam rapidly clouded the room. The water stung and she hissed, but then relaxed into the spray. The jets pounded her back and neck, her shoulders, the softness of her buttocks. She knelt on the floor of the shower, arms crossed in front of her beneath her face. The water cascaded over her back and soaked her hair. It sluiced away the tension in her shoulders, but emphasized the other tension still there, one she couldn't continue to ignore. Resting on her knees and forearms, Lina opened her legs. She tilted forward, lifted her ass in the air, let the water run down between her thighs to caress her openness like a lover's fingers.

  She hadn't made love since she'd left him. She'd learned to turn her sexual tension into creativity, progress, hard work and success at her business. She'd learned to focus her energies on other things, other projects. But sometimes, like now, she couldn't deny her body's hunger any longer. She had to give in to it.

  In the past year she'd ventured into places she'd never thought she'd go, all in the name of self-satisfaction. She'd tried a vibrator, but found the noise and intense sensation too harsh. Dildos were ridiculous, whether they looked liked real cocks or like something else. Her hands and perhaps a strategically placed pillow were poor substitutes for a man. The only thing she'd found that even came close to fulfilling her was water.

  Lina arched her spine and lifted herself higher against the water's spray. She rested her face in her palms and closed out the sight of anything but the inside of her eyelids. Darkness and silence, but for the rushing noise of the shower, filled her. She gave herself up to it, to the fantasy. To the memories.

  The water beat against her thighs, her cunt, the tender bud of her clit. It slapped her, caressed her, covered her with warmth and a steady pressure that brought her breath in short, sharp gasps.

  Her blood pounded in her ears. The heat of the shower and her arousal made her feel dizzy, faint, floating on a haze of sensation she didn't want to leave. The water couldn't touch her hard enough to make her come. It teased her. Taunted. Made her roll her hips against the intermittent spray. And still, though she felt herself grow slick with desire, felt the ache inside her. She couldn't achieve orgasm.

  She arched her back even more until a needle of spray pounded directly on her throbbing clitoris. She moved a little, back and forth, eager to feel the waves of orgasm fill her. The water flowed over her, but still brought her no release.

  A frustrated sigh escaped her. Lina lifted her head out of the water, uncertain of exactly what she meant to do next...only sure she needed release badly enough to give it to herself.

  No longer deafened by the sound of rushing water, Lina was startled to hear the boom, boom, boom of a phantom hand banging on her front door. She got to her feet, head spinning as she stood. Lina steadied herself against the tiled shower wall, wondering for a moment if she might faint.

  Her vagina clenched and her clit pounded in time to the throbbing of her heart. She shook her head to clear it. Another series of knocks came from her front door. She opened the shower door, grabbed a towel, and stepped into the steam-clouded air, cooler than the shower.

  It was the middle of the night. Who could be knocking on her door? Most likely it was her downstairs neighbor, the Goth-boy Edward, wanting to borrow some bread to make the toast he always craved when returning home from the clubs.

  Lina tucked the towel beneath her arms, aware that the small piece of cloth barely brushed to top of her thighs. Eddie would get quite a show. The thought made her smile. She probably outweighed Eddie by a good fifteen pounds.

  "I don't have any--" she began as she tugged the door open. The words died in her throat. She took a step back, then another, before thinking to slam the door. By then it was too late. He was inside, closing the door behind him with a kick that rocked the cheap wooden door on its hinges.

  "What are you doing here?" she asked, stunned into asking stupid questions. "How did you know where I live?"

  "Did you think I couldn't find you if I wanted to?" Gavin's familiar smile mocked her. Heat flared in his eyes as his gaze raked her from the top of her tangled, sopping head to the place where the towel ended and her flushed skin began.

  "Get out." She pointed, then curved her fingers into her palm to hide the fact her hands were trembling.

  "I don't think so."

  "You...you..." She sputtered and stopped.

  "What are you going to do? Call the police?"

  The steady, matter-of-fact way he asked his question shot a bolt of true fear through her. Lina swallowed, but lifted her chin. "I don't want you here. Get the hell out of my apartment!"

  He advanced a step. His height and size would have made him menacing, even if his attitude hadn't. "What kind of games are you playing, Lina?"

  The sound of her name on his tongue after so long wiped the protests from her. She shivered, suddenly conscious of the way the cool air brushed her all over, and the way her nipples pushed at the front of the towel.

  "I'm not playing any sort of games!"

  She could tell he knew she was lying. "I was on duty before. What did you expect me to do? Pull down your panties and fuck you there on the side of the road against your car?"

  At the harshness of his words, she shuddered again, but not from anger. The thought of him doing what he'd described sent a bolt of pure lust arcing through her, straight to her clit, which still beat in time to the pulsing of her heart. He'd described exactly what she wanted, but she'd be damned if she'd admit it to him.

  "Fuck you," she whispered, unable to find the strength to say more.

  Then he was next to her, his hand on the back of her neck. He pulled her close to him, her belly against his thighs, her breasts crushed to the strong, hard width of his chest. His fingers tangled in her hair and he pulled her head back until she gasped with desire.

  "You have the right to remain silent," he told her with no irony at all in his voice. "I think you owe me an explanation, but not right now. Be quiet, or I will turn around and leave."

  A flush of pure anger and desire burned her cheeks and the hollow of her throat. He was threatening her. "Let go of me."

  "I don't think so."

  She started to pull away, but his hands held her tight. Tears leaked from the corner of her eyes at the sudden sharp sting in her skull where his fingers pulled her hair. She should have wanted to get away from him, but the pulse between her legs refused to be denied. Her knees were weak with wanting. Her cheeks flamed with arousal and shame that he could affect her this way.

  Instead of pulling away, she allowed his hand to tug her head back, exposing her throat to him. The sting eased. His head angled toward hers and her lips parted. She waited.

>   Gavin brought his face so close to hers she felt the puff of his breath on her mouth. He paused just before his lips touched hers, then pulled back. "Did you think I was going to kiss you?"

  The old fury flared in her. She realized her hands were free and she almost slapped his face before he caught her hand and held it. With a swift move that made her head spin, he used his strength to turn her around and tuck the offending hand around her body and under her arm. He didn't let go of her hand. She was trapped, her back against him, her arm tight against her chest.

  His breath was hot on the back of her neck. He nuzzled her just under the ear. "You should know better than to try that with me."

  More heat rose within her, mingled with fury and desire at the touch of his lips on the sensitive rim of her ear. He had the nerve to put his lips to her neck, but not her mouth! It was insufferable, and at the same time, unbearable, that the feeling of his mouth touching her flesh could make her clit swell and burn with desire.

  He slid a hand down between her legs and cupped her beneath the towel. Lina gasped. She couldn't help it. His touch was like fire on her already burning skin. She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath to prevent herself from moaning.

  "This is what you want, isn't it?" His voice had that old, taunting tone she hated. His hand curved to fit more closely against her.

  Lina found the strength to shake her head, grateful he couldn't see her face. She arched her back to pull her body away from his as best she could. She didn't trust her voice.

  "No?" Gavin's voice had gone deep and hoarse. One finger parted her curls and stroked her. Another slipped between her folds to tease her opening.

  A red haze danced in front of her eyes. She was too close to coming. The sensations were too much. Lina struggled in Gavin's grasp, not wanting him to win. Not like this.

  His other hand came around to cover her breast and her hands were free. The towel fell forgotten to the floor. Gavin thumbed her nipple, then took it between his fingers and squeezed gently. Lina bit her lip. His fingers moved in slow, excruciating circles on her clit. She could feel her own slickness coating her thighs.

  "You wanted this tonight," Gavin said. "You wanted me to put you up against the car, like this--"

  He took three quick steps forward, pushing her in front of him until her belly nudged the edge of the breakfast bar dividing the kitchen from the living room. Lina gripped the counter's slick surface.

  "Didn't you?"

  "No."

  "You're lying, Lina."

  The mocking laughter in his voice gave her the strength finally to push away from him. Shaking, she ducked beneath his arm and turned to face him. She felt vulnerable in her nakedness, but the way his eyes swept over her body gave her some small triumph.

  She tossed her damp, tangled hair over her shoulders. She kept her gaze steady as she cupped her breasts as though she were offering them to him. She slid one hand down her belly to part her nest of curls and give him a glimpse of the treasure there. Her own touch didn't excite her as much as his had, but watching him see her touch herself did.

  He stepped toward her and she stepped back. "Are you going to kiss me?"

  A shadow crossed his features. "Lina..."

  She didn't care that she taunted him. "You can put your dick in me, but you can't kiss me. Is that it?"

  His jaw clenched as his stony gaze pierced her. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?"

  Oh, she hated being told what to do more than anything. "Leave, if you're going to leave. Fuck me, if that's what you came here to do. But if that's what you came here to do, you'd better make up your mind because I'll be damned if I make love to a man ever again who can't even kiss me first!"

  Her body shook, her voice, too. He had allowed her to step from his embrace. She turned, stunned and furious as tears stung her eyes. She crossed her arms over herself, terribly conscious of his eyes on her.

  "It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss you." Gavin's voice was low, nearly a growl. "Damn it, Lina. I was--"

  "Was what?" She whirled to face him. "Afraid?"

  She'd meant only to strike out at him to stop herself from feeling so badly. She didn't expect him to agree with her. He nodded quickly, his eyes smoldering and his jaw still set in a grim line that showed her he was as angry as she. But there was more, wasn't there? Beyond the anger? The heat of lust still burned inside her, and she could see it within him, too.

  "You were afraid of me?" she asked, surprising herself with the softness of her voice. She stepped toward him, not quite close enough to touch. "Afraid to kiss me?"

  He nodded again, then lifted his hands and shrugged. She didn't need to ask for an explanation. He'd told her before, that kissing to him was more intimate than sex. That kissing went along with holding hands and valentine's...with love. A year ago, she'd been on the verge of loving him. But now?

  She sighed heavily and fought the tears in her eyes. "Maybe you'd better go."

  Then just like that, before she could stop him, he'd gathered her in his arms and put his mouth to hers. Lina opened to him immediately. He tasted of mint, and the tang of beer, and the barest hint of cigarette smoke that told her he'd been to a bar before coming here. Sinking into his embrace was like waking from a nightmare to find herself safe in her own bed. Kissing Gavin was like coming home.

  She ran her hands along his bare forearms. He was more muscular than she remembered. Stronger. Bigger. Or maybe he'd always been this way, and it had simply been so long her memories were faulty.

  Whatever it was, Lina liked it. She squeezed his muscles gently, then harder as his kiss turned more fierce. Gavin put his hands beneath her elbows and lifted Lina onto her tiptoes.

  Gavin let go of her and pulled his tee shirt over his head. He took both of Lina's hands and put them on his bare chest. Her fingers splayed against the smooth, warm skin, brushed the pebbling nub of his nipples.

  Gavin undid his belt and opened the button on his jeans, then the zipper, and pushed the heavy denim down over his hips. He brought his mouth to hers again while he shoved his jeans over his thighs, then toed off his sneakers and hooked the jeans off with his feet.

  Lina's bare breasts now caressed Gavin's chest, her belly pressed on the crinkly dark hair of his thighs and the hot hardness of his erection. She stood on her toes again to press herself more firmly against him. He left her lips and nipped at her neck, down to the sensitive place beneath her ear, to the curve where her shoulder met her throat.

  He stepped forward and she stepped back, counting on him to guide her. She didn't hit any walls or fall over her own feet, and they kept kissing.

  He pushed her into the bedroom, and unerringly, to the bed. "Nice bed."

  The bed was new, as were the sheets and the apartment itself. She'd never brought a lover here. Lina didn't reply. She felt the softness of the mattress hit her just behind her knees, and she fell back.

  Gavin didn't land on top of her. Instead, he lowered himself slowly down next to her. His palm rested on the slightly rounded curve of her belly.

  His cock nudged her thigh. Lina looked into Gavin's eyes, expecting to see the same mocking look, or perhaps the hard, edgy look of anger she'd come to know so well. Instead, his eyes were full of an expression she wasn't sure she could identify: a mixture of lust, sadness and tenderness that made her put her hand to his cheek because she wasn't sure what else to do.

  "Gavin?"

  He blinked and shook his head roughly, as though to force away the moment of softness, but he couldn't convince her it hadn't been real. She pulled his head to her and kissed him. Their tongues met and danced.

  His hand moved lower. One finger parted her curls, still damp from the shower, and found her swollen clitoris. Just the lightest touch had her hips bucking beneath him. Again, she started to speak, though even she wasn't sure what exactly she wanted to say.

  He stopped her by putting his other hand to her lips. "Right to remain," he whispered, "silent."

  His mouth c
aptured hers. His finger moved in slow, lazy circles against her. Lina gave herself up to the sensation. Her thighs quivered.

  Gavin slipped a fingertip inside her and pressed gently. Lina bent her knees and pushed herself more open, urging him as best she could without words to penetrate her further. Gavin pushed his finger deeper, and kept his thumb pressing its gentle, steady rhythm on her clit.

  Lina's orgasm rushed toward her, inevitable and awesome. She exhaled and the hugeness of it filled her. She was flying.

  The world drew in around her, tighter, closer. She gasped and closed her eyes. Stars swirled in her vision. Gavin moved his finger inside her once more, one more press of his thumb, and she came.