Don't Deny Me Page 12

  “Meeting a guy’s family is always a big deal. Feels like it, anyway. Which reminds me, when are we going to meet him?”

  Alice laughed. “I don’t know. His family has this big Sunday dinner thing every week, it was kind of convenient and not like we had to plan something special.”

  “You don’t have to plan anything special to meet me.”

  “I know. It’s the time and distance thing. Too hard to get together on ‘school’ nights. We only get to see each other on the weekends.”

  Wendy’s laugh became another cough. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. And you want to spend all your time together making kissy face.”

  “Um, duh.” Alice let her chair tip back so she could close her eyes, thinking of it now.

  It was only Wednesday. Two more days until she could see him, though they hadn’t made any specific plans. In four months, she could count on two hands the times they’d actually decided anything in advance. They spent the weekends together, usually ending up at her place because she was the one who always asked if he wanted to spend the night. She should start packing a bag, just to be ready, she thought, in case he ever asked her to stay over.

  “You like him that much, huh?”

  “Yeah. He’s different, Wendy. We have this spark. It’s more than just the sex stuff, though I’m not going to lie, that part is amazing.”

  “TMI,” her sister said.

  “Shut up.” Alice laughed. “Like I didn’t have to listen to you raving on and on about Joe Murphey’s—”

  “Never speak of it again!” Wendy’s hoarse voice turned the command into a bark. “We shall refer to it only as the dream penis. Don’t remind me of its loss. My lady garden has never bloomed the same way since.”

  Alice choked with laughter, shaking her head. “His boner might’ve been a dream, but the rest of him was a nightmare.”

  “True.”

  “Mick is … he’s just …” Alice trailed off into a happy sigh. “He makes me laugh. We talk for hours and hours, and we never run out of things to say.”

  “Sounds like true love to me.”

  “Ugh.” Alice shook her head, though the protest was automatic and not necessarily heartfelt.

  Wendy coughed another laugh. “Don’t try to deny it. You’ve got it bad for this guy. I can tell. When’s the last time you spent more than a month with someone who didn’t annoy you? Oh, let me think about that, maybe I guess never!”

  “I didn’t say he didn’t annoy me,” Alice said.

  “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

  “He’s always late,” Alice added. “Always because something came up he wasn’t expecting. He barely makes plans, and then changes them at the last minute because he’s running behind or decides something else would be more fun.”

  “Well. Is it?”

  “Sometimes,” Alice admitted reluctantly. “But sometimes I really just want to do whatever it is I was planning on doing with him. I don’t care if it’s dinner or a movie or bowling or whatever, but if I’m thinking about doing one thing and he switches it up, I get … you know how I get.”

  Wendy coughed. “Yeah. I know how you get. Doesn’t he? Do you fight about it?”

  “We haven’t fought, not exactly. I’ve tried to tell him that I don’t like it when he’s constantly changing plans we didn’t really make in the first place, but I guess I don’t want to sound uptight. Because it is fun being with him. I think he’s amazing and wonderful, and …” She let her words trail away, trying to think of how to describe her insecurities without sounding like one of those girls who started picking out china patterns after two dates.

  “And what?”

  “I’m not sure what he thinks about me. I know he likes sleeping with me,” Alice said, a little harder than she’d intended. “I figure he likes me well enough, too. You don’t spend so much time with a person if you don’t actually like them aside from the sex parts.”

  Wendy cleared her throat. “Yeah. I’d agree with you, there. So what’s the problem? I’ve never really known you to be worried about how a guy felt about you before, Alice.”

  “He doesn’t say it.” There it was, out loud, and saying it, even to her sister, felt embarrassing and a little needy. Gross. “I mean, he doesn’t say anything about how he feels about me. I say something like, ‘I think you’re amazing,’ and he gives me an uncomfortable punch on the shoulder and calls me ‘dude.’”

  “Shit,” Wendy said. “Ouch.”

  “Yeah. Unless we’re fucking or just finished fucking,” Alice said flatly. “He’s a lot more vocal about what he likes about me then.”

  “You can spare me the details on that. But you should tell him how you feel, Alice. No good relationship grows without honesty. And not telling him about what makes you mad isn’t honest.” Wendy cleared her throat with a sigh. “I’m gonna go take some more meds and a hot shower. Sorry about lunch. Good luck with your new boy toy. Don’t keep him a secret too much longer, or I’ll think he’s got a tail or something.”

  Alice burst into laughter. “Maybe that’s why I like him so much.”

  “You would,” Wendy answered and hung up.

  With her lunch plans canceled, Alice grudgingly ate the snacks she’d packed instead of going out for pasta and meatballs, which is what she’d been craving. Her resentment fled, though, when Mick’s name popped up on her IM list. If she’d been out of the office, she’d have missed him.

  Hey, she typed. Fancy meeting you here.

  No answer. With a sigh, Alice shook her finger at the computer screen. “Pay attention to your messages, McManus!”

  Of course that didn’t do any good. He’d probably popped online for a second and then left his office again to do something else. Her job as administrative assistant to the head of human resources for Snazzy Nailz nail polish chained her to her chair for most of the day, but most of Mick’s time was spent onsite or in meetings about those onsite visits. Still, seeing the green dot beside his name was like a grain of sand in an oyster … only there was no pearl, Alice thought a half hour later when she’d finished her meager lunch and he was still online but hadn’t replied.

  Ugh.

  Busying herself with work, she managed to get through a number of assignments that had been put on the back burner for one reason or another. Stomach growling, she gave in and decided to hit the employee cafeteria. The food there was slightly better than fast-food takeout, which would’ve been her second option. After a quick sandwich and a salad, she was back at her desk … to find a message from Mick.

  Hey, hot stuff. Heading out to a job in York.

  Hey, you there?

  USER MCMANUS HAS GONE OFFLINE

  “Dammit,” Alice muttered as she slid into her chair. Not only had she missed him, but York was only twenty minutes from her office. He never came this close to where she worked, though Jay sometimes had.

  She looked at the clock. The messages had come in fifteen minutes ago, which meant he was probably still driving. A quick glance at her workload showed her where she could rearrange things. She called him, heart already skipping a beat at the thought of getting to talk to him midday on a Wednesday. Thumping harder at the idea that if she could finagle things just right, she might even get to see him.

  When the call went to voice mail, Alice said, “Hey, it’s me. I got your IM, but I wasn’t at my desk. Sorry I missed you. When you get to York, if you have a chance, can you give me a call? I could come meet you for a late lunch or something. You’re so close.”

  She hesitated, then added, “I miss you. Would love to see you today. Bye.”

  She worked for another hour or so. No call from Mick. She thought about sending him a text, but this close to the end of the month she was in danger of going over her texting allotment, and she’d learned her lesson last month about how expensive that could be. She should bump it up another thousand messages, she thought randomly as she forced herself to focus on work and not her silent cell phone. But she already had a pho
ne plan for five hundred a month, who the hell would ever need to use that many texts?

  By the end of the day, any hope she’d had that he was going to call her from the site had fled. When her phone did ring as she was packing up to leave, it was Jay. She tried not to sound disappointed.

  “I need a hump day happy hour,” he said without preamble. “Come meet me.”

  “Jay … I have to work tomorrow.”

  He spoke almost before she’d finished her excuse. “You can crash at my place.”

  “And get up an hour and a half early to make it to work on time? Ugh.” Phone cradled to her shoulder, Alice zipped her purse.

  “I think Paul is cheating on me.”

  Alice paused. “Shit. I’m sorry, Jay.”

  “Yeah. Well. Is it really cheating when the other person won’t exactly fully commit?”

  “I guess it’s cheating if it feels like it,” she told him. “To you, anyway.”

  “Happy hour. C’mon, Alice. We haven’t been out together in forever. You’ve been spending all your time with Mick on the weekends.”

  “He told you that? Does he talk about me? Were you working with him today?” The thought intrigued and made her nervous. “What did he say?”

  Jay huffed. “He didn’t say anything. I haven’t worked with him in weeks. I just know that’s who you’ve been with, because you’ve barely called me.”

  “Sorry.” She was chagrined, but not too much.

  They arranged a meeting place and time. One more time, Alice checked her instant messages, but Mick hadn’t come online again. She shut down her computer and headed out. Traffic was a bitch, as it always was the closer she got to Baltimore. When she passed the exit for Timonium, where Mick lived, her foot unconsciously lifted from the gas, earning her a little road rage from the asshole who’d been tailgating her. She kept going with only a look in the rearview and a sigh, her silent phone mocking her from her purse. By the time she got to the restaurant where she was meeting Jay, she was starving and cranky.

  Bless him, though, he’d ordered appetizers and two margaritas, so she didn’t have to wait. Alice gave him a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. Jay pushed her margarita toward her.

  “So,” she said. “What’s going on?”

  He told her. The secretive phone calls that ended when Jay walked into the room. The way Paul had stopped returning his calls right away, sometimes going hours or even a day or so. How he seemed distracted, even in bed.

  “All the classic signs,” Jay said with a vicious stab into the loaded potato skins.

  Alice had been cheated on a couple of times, and she wasn’t proud to admit it, but she’d cheated once, herself. She’d never condone it, but she couldn’t exactly be judgmental. Well, except that Paul was an asshole. “Just ask him about it, Jay. Don’t torture yourself.”

  “What if he won’t admit it?”

  “You can pretend you don’t know and keep going on, or you can break it off anyway,” she told him.

  “What if he does admit it?”

  Alice smiled gently. “Same thing, honey. But if you don’t say something, you’re going to kill yourself over it. I know it sucks and it hurts, but is he worth it?”

  Jay said nothing, which was his answer. Alice sighed and drank some of her margarita while she thought of what to say. No advice came to mind, unfortunately. Love was love, and you couldn’t choose it. It just happened to you, no matter how wonderful and terrible it was.

  “I don’t want to talk about him any more right now,” Jay said suddenly. “Let’s just eat fried food and get a little drunkish. Okay?”

  “Okay, sure. Whatever you want.”

  A little drunkish turned into Jay downing four margaritas and confessing that he’d snuck through Paul’s computer files and e-mails in an attempt to figure out the truth. Alice, who’d limited herself to two drinks over the course of the night, drove him home and forced him to take a shower and a couple of aspirin, drink a glass of water. Then she put him to bed.

  “Are you staying?” Jay asked. “You can sleep here.”

  Alice shook her head. “I’m going to head home.”

  “It’s late,” he said without much force.

  “I’d rather sleep in my own bed, even if I have to drive tonight, than wake up early.”

  “You hate early.” Jay turned to put his face into the pillow. “G’night.”

  He’d be fine, she knew that, but still Alice sat with him for a few more minutes until he started to snore. She stroked his hair, hating that Paul was hurting him, wishing she could do more. Not enough to be there in the morning to help him with the hangover, though.

  Mick had not called her back. It was just past eleven thirty at night. He could be in bed by now, she told herself. She shouldn’t call him, if he’d wanted to talk to her, he’d have returned her call. She was being stupid, Alice thought, but remembered Jay’s despondent story of how Paul had stopped replying.

  She called him.

  “It’s me,” she said when Mick answered. “I’m twenty minutes away. Can I come see you?”

  “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

  Nothing was wrong. Not exactly. But she’d been struck with the overwhelming urge to see him. Smell him. Taste him. The fierceness of her desire churned her stomach and dried her throat.

  “I want you,” Alice said simply. “Please let me come over.”

  She was there in eighteen minutes. In his arms a minute after that. Mouths open, tongues stroking, hands roaming.

  “I want you,” Alice said as she pulled his shirt over his head. “Want you, want you, want you.”

  Her mouth found the smoothness of his chest. Teeth pressed, nibbling. He made a low noise when she flicked his nipples with her tongue, and his hand sunk into her hair at the base of her neck. His fingers dug in, just right, and Alice shuddered with desire.

  Her fingernails skidded along his back. She went to the waistband of his pajama bottoms, pulling them down as she followed all his exposed flesh with her lips and tongue. On her knees in front of him, hand circling the base of his cock, Alice looked up at him. His expression—blazing eyes, grim mouth, still somehow looked tender. He stroked a hand over her hair to push it off her face.

  She took him in her mouth. All the way, deep, her lips bumping his lower belly. She opened for him, then withdrew, slowly, sucking just enough at the head of his cock to make his hips thrust.

  “Shit, Alice … shit.”

  Grinning, she did it again. Closing her eyes, Alice lost herself in his flavor, in the heat and thickness of him. Hand and mouth, she moved on his prick. Teasing him. Her hand went between her legs, under her skirt, along the seam of her pantyhose. She was so turned on that even though the sensations were blunted, she wasn’t going to have any trouble getting off.

  She’d never been a woman who craved fellatio. She’d enjoyed it, sure, but now, here on her knees in front of Mick, all she could think about was how much she wanted his cock in her mouth. How much she wanted to make him lose all control, to fuck into her mouth. She wanted to make him lose his mind.

  Her fingertips circled on her clit. Shuddering, Alice moaned around Mick’s cock. Her pussy clenched as she started tipping over into orgasm. So soon, so fast, she might’ve tried to hold it off except that Mick was saying her name over and over in that rough rasp she knew meant he was going to come.

  He tried to pull away from her with a sound of warning, but caught up in the climax rippling through her, Alice refused to let him go. Her hand slid along his slick cock in time with the stroke of her lips and tongue, the teasing, gentle press of her teeth. When she sucked gently on the head of him, Mick at last went over the edge. With a cry, he flooded her mouth. Wracked with shudders of pleasure, Alice carried them both through until the end.

  Breathing hard, Mick looked down at her when she at last let him go. He cupped her cheek for a second. Then, to her surprise, he folded onto his knees in front of her. He kissed her, hard.

  “Holy
shit,” Mick said.

  * * *

  Alice’s mouth opened, but before she could answer, Mick kissed her again. He tasted himself on her tongue and a fresh surge of emotion clobbered him over the head. Fuck, what the hell was going on? An unfamiliar burning stabbed the backs of his eyes and closed his throat.

  When had they stopped kissing? How had they started hugging? He was nearly naked and she was still fully dressed, and shit, goose bumps had started breaking out all over him, and oh, fuck, was he going to do something insane like … what, like tell her he loved her?

  He laughed, his momentary insanity fading. The woman in front of him had just given him the best head of his entire life; no wonder he’d lost his shit a little bit. But it was more than that, and he’d known it for a while.

  Love.

  Shit.

  “My knees hurt,” she said when he didn’t speak. “Umm …”

  “Shit, yeah. C’mon.” He got to his feet and helped her up, then snagged his pajama bottoms and pulled them up. His T-shirt seemed to have disappeared, flung who knew where. Alice smoothed her skirt and then ran her fingers through her hair, looking completely put together in a few seconds.

  Neither of them said anything for a minute.

  “So,” she said finally, “are you going to ask me to stay?”

  Mick coughed, caught off guard. “Yeah, you want to?”

  “It’s late,” she said. “I didn’t bring anything with me to stay over in, and I’ll have to leave really early to get up for work in the morning. …”

  Was that a yes? A no? Still fuzzy from the force of coming hard enough to knock a hole in the wall, Mick could only stare. Alice looked expectant.

  “Can I borrow a T-shirt and a pair of boxers?”

  “Yeah, of course. And a toothbrush. I have an extra, I think.” He pulled her close again for a kiss. “Of course you can stay.”

  Upstairs, he pulled a clean T-shirt and pair of pajama bottoms from the drawer and showed her the shower. The bathroom was a mess, something he only noticed when seeing it through Alice’s eyes, but if it bothered her, she didn’t say anything. He found a clean towel and washcloth for her. A spare toothbrush. In the bedroom while she showered, he quickly stripped the sheets that had been on the bed for … well, he didn’t remember the last time he’d changed them, so it was time. He was just shoving an extra pillow into a fresh case when she came out of the bathroom.